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The Struggle in-between Me

So like every other human being, I fall in troubles, do mistakes and face a lot of obstacles through-out life, but what makes me different from others out there is that i think a lot like when someone suggests me to go for a dinner lets say, I'd be thinking of every possibility of what would happen there, what might I'd be facing there like  "am i gonna act in a good way?" "am i gonna drop something on my clothes" "what should i talk about?" "what if someone stole my wallet?" "will the other person enjoy his/her time with me?" and the list goes on i dunno etc... Yet i have this trust thingy issue with literally everyone around me, huh funny right?! well i don't trust my self sometimes... Another thing is that i have a weird way in seeing life and people all together, like i can most of the times read people's minds through their acts and sometimes i do predict stuff which at the end either it results throughout conclusions or through logical sense. Still my aim in here is to find out how to live like a proper teenager, to live this life at its finest before its too late, all this fun most guys have, its just how? how do they do that?!

My name doesn't matter but just call me or know me by the name of Lucifer, Ren or even Karma (you'll know later on why I've chose such names) and yes from the name you can tell that I'm obsessed with Lucifer the TV-series and specially with the actor "Tom Ellis". Now before watching Lucifer for a long time I've been busy coding and searching mostly every "how to" article, post or thread that makes me benefit and lemme gain more knowledge about hacking and empower my computer skills.